


sincerely, yours

by kaikasengen



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A bit of cussing, A3! Secret Santa 2020, Awkward, Fluff, M/M, soft, theyre stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaikasengen/pseuds/kaikasengen
Summary: It felt wrong. Wrong how it always happens when it comes to Tsumugi. Tasuku was never one to think things through much: he preferred to face them head on, full power, to the best of his ability. And yet here he was, and he felt like an idiot, but maybe the smile on Tsumugi's face was worth it.
Relationships: Takatoo Tasuku & Tsukioka Tsumugi, Takatoo Tasuku/Tsukioka Tsumugi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	sincerely, yours

**Author's Note:**

> written for the a3 secret santa gift exchange !! i hope u enjoy it <3 a big thank you to nao for being my beta i am Very Grateful

Like most things when it came to them, it happened slowly. A subtle change, that could barely be felt – that could have even gone unnoticed, if not for all the years spent together and how observant, and conscious of each other they were. Because that’s how it was, because they knew each other the best, because to them, it was natural and it felt _right_.

Except this time, it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel wrong, either. Like every change, it feels uncomfortable at first, until the “new” becomes the common. They were both getting used to lingering touches, to the looks they exchanged lasting one more second than usual (thus breaking the 3 seconds rule), and this one little second seemed to turn their whole world upside down.

But they don’t talk about it. They know the other’s aware of it as well, but this doesn’t help in making the communication easier. They’ll have to talk it out, that’s a given, but wording those things takes a lot of courage, and Tasuku thinks this time, he doesn’t have it in him to do something about it _just yet_.

So, he doesn’t. He keeps losing an hour or two of sleep every night thinking about what to say, wondering if it was even right to say; that maybe he was mistaken, maybe this was all in his head –

And _this_ felt truly wrong, because it only ever happens when it's about Tsumugi. Putting it bluntly, Tasuku was never one to think things through much: he faced things head on, full power, to the best of his ability. And while he wasn’t entirely foreign to the concept (because it’d happened before, in his college years, during his fallout with Tsumugi – those weeks he lost sleep over someone he’d sworn himself to never interact with again, probably out of frustration and betrayal, would forever stay in his memory, ingrained like some stain on a car seat that doesn’t go away no matter how much you try to wipe it off), it didn’t make the experience more bearable, and he still had no clue how to deal with it.

It’s Saturday, and even if its on 5 hours of sleep that he attends morning practice, he still does. Tsuzuru was in the middle of writing the script for the next Winter troupe play, and this meant it wasn’t time to slack off – because soon, Tasuku will have a new role, and that no matter how many characters he’d played, they all became dear to him in some way. Acting was his life, his blood; and his roles were the flesh allowing him to do what he loved the most.

But as practice ended, as Izumi congratulated them on their efforts, as Tsumugi handed him his - their - water bottle (because _why_ bother buying two when you already share most of your possessions anyways), Tasuku felt dissatisfied. He could do better. He could do much better, he knew it. But he simply couldn’t pay attention properly, and it was driving him mad.

“Are you okay?” Tasuku turned around, to the very familiar voice that was calling out to him. “You weren’t paying much attention today, it doesn’t happen often.” He looked a little worried, and maybe Tasuku wanted to argue that _it's literally your fault I’m in that state, for fuck’s sake_ , but he didn’t.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” He didn’t especially want to face the other man, so he opened the fridge to see if there was any leftover from yesterday’s dinner to fill himself up a little, and distract himself from this unwanted conversation. He knew this was the limit to how much he could let this… thing between them affect him and his daily life. As soon as it starts to affect his acting, it’s not just his problem anymore, and that means he had to deal with it immediately. “Just a bit tired, that’s all.”

“We have a new play coming, so you should probably rest a little”. Wait, he forgot yesterday’s meal was curry… Well. Curry it will be. “Maybe tone it down a bit with all the working out you’ve been doing lately”, he laughs. “I don’t see what’s wrong with me working out that much” Tasuku frowns, as he takes the old plate out and puts it in the microwave “Well, Yuki isn’t going to be very happy with it, that’s for sure.” Tsumugi is still smiling, although this time a bit more gently. “If anything’s bothering you, you know you can always come to me, right?”

And he knows, and he’s grateful, but this time it’s a bit different.

* * *

Ever since their (second) showdown against GOD-za, Tasuku had found Haruto to be… more bearable. Probably thanks to the new members of the troupe, Izumida’s friend and Ikaruga’s little brother, if he remembered correctly. His former troupemate had gotten a bit warmer, to the point Tasuku did, in fact, not mind getting a drink with him in the evening.

Well. He was still a pain in the ass sometimes.

“So basically”, the shorter man says, setting his glass of wine on the table they were seated at, “You and that guy have been dancing around each other for like, 20 years, and your life is crumbling to pieces?”

“Not 20 years”. Tasuku replies, unamused “We were 5 years olds at that time, it can’t possibly be- “ “Takato, I know. It was sarcasm. But with how glued you two are to each other, I wouldn’t be surprised if you already liked each other in kindergarten or something."

“We don’t- We’re not- “

“Sure, and I’m Santa! God, you can’t possibly be this obvious.”

There’s a small silence, where Tasuku just… stares at his glass, almost empty, the liquid that was left seeming like the most interesting thing in the world at this very moment. He sighs. “It’s just... complicated. We’re not kids anymore. We have responsibilities.”. He seems annoyed. “This isn’t just about us.”

Haruto looks at him, skeptical. “But,” he pauses, as if carefully choosing his words, almost… serious. “This is about you. About you two. Sure, it could affect the company, blah, blah, blah, but ultimately this whole thing is just about you and your stupid best friend having a big crush on each other and not knowing what to do about it. Are you sure this isn’t just an excuse to chicken out?”

Tasuku doesn’t answer. It’s frustrating, unbelievably so, but he’s right.

“Ugh, why was I the first person you thought about when you decided you wanted to rant about your love life.”

“Sorry”

“Well,” he takes a last sip out of his glass, “Just know the bill’s on you.”

And for a brief moment, Tasuku can feel himself smiling.

* * *

When he comes back to the dorms, almost everyone is asleep (besides maybe Chigasaki, but really, did this guy even sleep like, ever), so he tries not to make any noise when making his way into his room. When he opens the door, though, he notices the light is still on, and that Tsumugi is sitting on their small sofa, reading the book the man bought the other day when they went shopping for fabric in Rurikawa’s stead.

“Ah, Tasuku” he says quietly, looking up in his direction. “You’re back."

“Yeah, sorry” he closes the door. “It took a bit longer than expected. Did you, uh… Wait for me?”

Tsumugi doesn’t respond, and Tasuku knows this means yes. It wasn’t unusual for them to do that – ever since their high school days, it's become an habit. But even this small habit of theirs, as insignificant as it could seem, became too much to bear, too suffocating, brought too much questions to Tasuku’s mind, and he had _enough_.

“Hey, are you available right now?” _Finally, he said it._ “There’s something I want to talk about.”

Tsumugi’s eyes grew wider, and while the other man looked at him in … apprehension? Stress? Whatever this look in his eyes was, he still nodded and got up from the sofa, putting away his book in their small bookshelf.

“How about the garden? I haven’t watered the flowers today."

“Sure, fine by me.”

The two of them walked in silence, and they honestly couldn’t tell if it was the comfortable or awkward kind, but the one that settled in as they sat on the bench sure was a heavy one.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Indeed. What did he want to talk about. _Indeed_. He had absolutely no idea what to say, and maybe he should’ve prepared a bit more, and _fuck this it was so unlike him._

“Well. Uh. That’s.” He took a deep breath. “You’ve noticed, right?” Okay, Tasuku, a bit more to go. “How things are… different between us.”

There was a pause, the man still looking for what to say. “You’re better at these kind of … feelings”, god, he was cringing at his own words “than I am, so. I wondered… Uh. What we should do from now on. Probably.”

Tsumugi didn’t respond. Instead, a soft chuckle could be heard.

“So… This is why you weren’t paying attention in practice?” Tasuku could hear the smile in his voice. “Didn’t think I had this kind of power over you, Taachan.” He said, teasingly.

Tasuku grumbled, a light blush forming on his cheeks out of embarrassment. “Shut it, will you.” _Of course you do_.

“Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about this either.” Tsumugi admitted, still smiling. “But I guess I trust you enough to know that whatever happens, our relationship won’t be ruined forever.”

Another silence. Tasuku thinks, tries to make his head work so he doesn’t look like an absolute idiot once again, but it doesn’t work, so he chooses to rely on what he knows best. “Wanna perform an etude?”

Tsumugi just looks at him, dumbfounded, and then bursts out laughing, as quietly as he can, and Tasuku doesn’t find it in him to be angry because this is one of the prettiest sights he’s seen in a while. Tsumugi’s soft traits, his laugh, his hand covering his mouth so he doesn’t wake up anyone in the dorm, all basked in the moonlight – _god he was so pretty._

“That’s- That’s just….” He was still laughing, but now only fondness could be seen on the man’s face. “So like you, Taachan. I’d be down, actually, but I’d prefer tomorrow.” He checked his watch. “It’s getting quite late, after all.”

“Ah, right.”

“And,” Tsumugi started, “We don’t need to figure it out immediately. We can just take our time. It’s okay.”

Maybe it was the warmth of Tsumugi’s hand as he gently held his, or the fact he finally got this out of the way, but Tasuku felt lighter than ever.

And well, he wouldn’t trade for anything in the world the blush on Tsumugi’s face as he kissed him goodnight.


End file.
